There are a million things for me to be writing about right now. Given the circumstances I don’t feel much like writing about anything except whats going on. Us using our faith for Julia to come home NOW.
Everyday we get a step closer. Julia is doing really well but if you’ve ever been a NICU mom soon enough is not soon enough. You want your baby home now. Every time you are forced to leave your baby behind it is like someone has pushed you in the stomach. You just want to hear those words she’s going home.
I would be lying if I said that this was not hard but we have something so powerful that not every one has. We have HOPE. Not hope in the situation HOPE and a knowing that our Heavenly Father has already resolved this situation for our good. God has promised us that and with that we have hope or a JOYFUL EXPECTATION, that at any time we may get the word that Julia is ready to come home and we can step out of this period of trail.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2 corinthians says it best. We may feel like we are wasting away. Yes our strength and inner man is being reined in Him daily. Yet this is a light momentary affliction preparing us for greater things, glory beyond all comparison. So we decide to not look are going on. We don’t look at the tasks to be completed we look at the unseen which is surely soon to manifest in Julia being big enough to come home.
- I wish I could say it did not way heavy on my heart. I have to purposely take the weight of all this and CAST it on the Lord. I have to physically pick my self up and I have to preach myself happy. We are walking through this solely by faith the only way I know I can.
- I just want it to be over and the mere thought of when – how much longer- and all the other thoughts that come to mind are honestly to much to bear.
- When I become so upset by it all I have to remind myself of how blessed I am. Julia is perfectly perfect. She was just a preemie. Things could be so much worse. I know friends who have been in this position and never brought their babies home. Our baby is coming home, she’s coming home soon although it might feel like forever and when she does come home there are no future medical issues to worry about – this is a matter of her early self ( must take after her Daddy) – to just grow and bulk up a little and she’s doing it and doing it well.
Today I write this because many of you are facing situations wondering WHEN. The answer is simple EXPECT your miracle now. Regardless of what they may say know that the God who created this entire universe has you and what ever you are facing in the palm of His hand.
Recognize that you may feel like this time in waiting is wasted time. It is not. It is in fact time preparing you for what the Word says to be eternal glory beyond ALL COMPARISON. This may feel like the end of the world but it is just the beginning to a new chapter of God’s goodness in your life SO GET READY. I know I am ready for all that God has planned for me and a minor set back will not be a set up for me to quit. It only makes me more perseverant in knowing that God has something so good for us prepared that the enemy will use anything he can to keep us from it. Im not signing for that package.
In the mean time we wait on Him – knowing that He renews our strength daily. He speaks words of wisdom into our lives and encourages us from the inner most being as we stand in gratitude for all that He has given us.
- I want to say a personal thank you from the bottom of our hearts for all the love and support you have shown us in that past almost 3 weeks. This was so unexpected and the our pouring of love and kindness that has been shown to us is overwhelming and comforting beyond belief. Know that you are SO LOVED and so appreciated.
- I can’t wait to get home with Julia and get back to writing, time to post is not an easy thing to come by – I will certainly try.
Again know you are loved.